How to choose values that guide your success
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In my last post I discussed the importance of taking action in life and the 4 step process to getting the results your want. Today we start the construction of your success pyramid. The foundation of your successful life and guide for life’s major decisions. Knowing your values in life is critical.
Compass gone bad
I work in a financial planning firm and this firm is a shining light in an otherwise troubled industry. Although improvements are being made in the industry.
The financial planning industry on the whole has been through a dark period (2018) due to the way it treated its clients and complete lack of ethics. Stories abound of fees being charged to dead people’s accounts. Fees charged and no services delivered. Poor advice given for the main purpose of receiving commissions (to the adviser).
It was like the wild west, or if you’ve seen the movie The Wolf of Wall Street with Leonardo DiCaprio …..
Leo: More money straight into my pocket. Thank you, Sir.
Jonah Hill (far left): But what about the client?
Leo: Sorry who?
All: (Roars of laughter)
(Not actual movie dialogue)
Know your Values
Values are the fundamental beliefs that direct your decisions and actions. They are the things that you feel are important to you and guide you in your decision making. The compass of your life.
Your values are like a little rule book tucked away in your brain (or on a piece of paper or computer file if you’ve written them down) that you refer to when making important decisions.
Should I have chicken or steak tonight? We don’t check the book for that one. Just pick one.
If you’re vegetarian …
Should I have steak or a vegetarian meal?
That is a significant enough challenge to instantly get the rule book out and refer to your rules. Obviously, this would happen very quickly and would provide an instant response.
What if ……
… you had a partner and kids, and you were offered a new job with twice the salary but involved lots of travel and long hours?
How do you decide?
Your values must be consulted in order to provide the best possible answer.
If career was your top priority – you take the job.
If money was your top priority – you take the job.
If family was your top priority – do you need the money that bad? Are you ok with missing important family events and moments? Not being there for the kids and seeing them grow up?
If your health was your top priority – do you take the job?
Without having your values clearly defined, decision making can be infinitely more challenging with a greater chance of making the wrong choice.
Tony Robbins says that “The only way we can ever feel happy and fulfilled in the long term is to live in accordance with our true values”.
How to choose your values?
This is not too hard. Search on the internet “list of values”. You can find hundreds of values to choose from.
Then just note down the ones that resonate with you the most. You don’t need a personal list of 200. 8-12 should suffice for now.
You can either choose values that reflect who you are now OR you can choose values that reflect who you want to become.
This is an opportunity to build the ultimate you from the ground up.
If you have big dreams for your life, what person do you have to become in order to achieve them.
If self-development (career or personally) is not on the list, does it need to be if you want to be better than you are today?
If health is not on your list but you feel that it should be, for whatever reason, then put it on. That can help to change your attitudes, drive decision making and produce the desired action.
Then put them in order of importance. Number 1 being the most important to you.
Review the list.
Is there anything on that list that conflicts with others? Financial freedom may be number 1 but adventurousness (via travel) may be on the list too.
Look for and resolve these conflicts.
If you need to cut things from the list, do so carefully.
Also, think why these values are important to you. These shouldn’t be a bunch of random words on a list.
These are meant to be the core of who you are or want to be.
If there isn’t a serious why behind each one, then these words will be meaningless.
So, by now you should have an ordered list of your values and the reasons why they are important to you. These are your guides to better decision making. Is it a perfect science? No. But it will be significantly better than flying blind!
Health: My number 1
My number 1 value is health. Specifically, looking after my back. This is an absolute non-negotiable.
If I don’t have the best health, that is my back as good as it can be, then life is not good. It affects my attitude towards life, my work, my time with my family, my sleeping, my sitting, my moving. Every second of my day becomes a problem. This is why I guard my health so ferociously.
My number 2 is family and raising my daughter. Others include contribution, honesty, self-improvement, humour, creativity, discipline, determination, reliability, punctuality (not listed in any particular order).
Career, for me, tends to float around a bit. That’s why my career results are not what I would like them to be.
Early on in my career, I said to myself that working my butt off to earn more money was not worth it. And it really stuck. I was in a job I probably shouldn’t have taken, I had no career direction, I wasn’t excited about my career in any way.
And that only led to career disaster. After that I became a personal trainer. You can’t see me, but as I type, I’m shaking my head in disappointment.
Making decisions without a functional compass or guiding light can lead to undesirable results. And if left to drift for decades can be disastrous to what I had hoped was going to be a successful career.
Your values can change
As you get older and your life changes, your values can change too. Social fun may give way to family. Is career more or less important? There may be new entrants on the list, some might drop off, or you have a bigger list. It can evolve as you evolve.
As briefly discussed in the previous article, regular review is essential.
They key is to be aware of what is important to you so that it drives better decision making.
You by design
It is not possible to overstate how important knowing, understanding and applying your values are to living the life you want.
Remember that the you now will not be the you in 20 years’ time. But I hope that the you in 20 years’ time is significantly better than you now.
Your values are the compass, your goals are the destination and your plan is the pre-determined route on how to get to where you want to go.
The Wrap
Your values are the captain of your ship. They are your guide when faced with important decisions.
Without sitting down and determining how you want to “be” in the world, you risk drifting aimlessly through life without a sense of purpose.
In my experience, that is not a nice feeling.
Write down your values, expand on what each of those mean to you.
Are you living your life driven by what is most important?
Up next …..
Goal Setting Success: Look back to move forward.
Take action in your life.
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